We celebrated New years eve. together,and went home to our families later.We texted all night and when the clock struck 12 I wished you were here.Most of my friends saw it coming,but to me it was a total surprised.Was I blinded by love or was it just not meant to be?

We couldn't spend enough time together,I just couldn't keep away from you. Although distance kept us apart, there were always your texts. Your sweet sweet words that sunk into my heart whenever I opened my cell phone.We got pretty close,yet so far! At night I would sit in silence,straining to hear the clicking letters of the cell phone.The few times you called me you sounded distracted,and your brother,your brother...well he was inappropriate. We talked about anything,and everything.There was just this thing that I knew I could tell you anything and you would understand. Suddenly your words weren't enough for me,I had to see you,feel you,small you,be there with you. After a few months we met up,and we had our first kiss, my personal first kiss, I enjoyed it very much,from then on I thought that we would be together for ever. I didn't see you often but those few times we hugged and kissed,you made me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world.I thought I was the luckiest girl in the world. I dyed my hair brown cause you said it matched me perfectly.

On a tragic rainy day, I happened to open my cell phone,to read a text that would break my heart,and forever change my life. I thought about it,and the things you had told me. You said that I had been your first love,as you had been with me,but I also remembered that: "If you love some one let him go,and if he loves you he will come back to you"

At that moment I realized I didn't love you, I thought I did and I felt like a fool for making you believe that I did. I'm sorry that I do not know my emotions as well as you seemed to know yours. SO here I stand this day,looking into the mirror seeing if I'm actually gonna go through this. The brown dye in my hair kills me and reminds me of you,your touch,your lips,the whispers and promises that we once had,but I can plainly see my black roots coming in. I died my hair black because of my pain,and the heart break that I wish we could have had. Today I cry,and pretend not to care.A deep scar is in my heart,its for the love I wish we could have had. Today is April fools day, and today I edited this,this is all true I called you today and left you a message,my excuse to hear your voice once again. As I was finishing the message You called me,and I answered. I pretended not to be affected by your voice or anything,since all you said was "What? I can't hear you..." and to my reply "I said 'Happy April Fool's Day'" you said flatly "Yeah you too." I cried afterward. Now I sit here typing,do I love you?